December 2, 2021

How to Get People to Know, Like and Trust You: Part 1: 10 Strategies for Becoming Well Known

If you haven’t received the memo…the way to both get business and to be a great leader is to take on actions and develop behaviors that will get people to know, like and trust you.  In the world of business, people buy from people they know, like and trust.  In the career world, people hire candidates they know, like and trust.  When it comes to promotions, acquiring a seat on a board of directors or being nominated for an award…same.  At the end of the day, if people have no idea who you are OR if they hate you OR if they find you are not worthy of trust…just do what you can tp shift.  Start today to change the way you interact with others.

Today’s blog will be on the “Getting to Know You”  piece of the puzzle.

So, here we go.

The “Do” List:

1.  Get out in your local and greater public and extend your hand for an introduction and a handshake.  This could be at a local business event, at the gym, at a party, during a hobby class or through taking continuing education programs.  I introduce myself to the person who is waiting in front of me at the grocery store often.  So, any time you are around people…introduce yourself.

2.  When you meet someone, ask about their interests.  Your curiosity will “break the ice” enough for you and the other person to see if you both want to get to know you better.

3.  Be transparent.  Be yourself and don’t hold back on your opinions.  If you are hard to read, people will tell others they don’t really know you.

4.  Be the same person at both home and at work.

5.  Have a strong online social networking presence.  Blog (make sure to blog as if you were having a conversation), tweet and do the Facebook thing.  Reach out to people and ask for a conversation by phone just to introduce yourself to take the relationship from just being on the web to an actual conversation.  When you travel, invite one of your online friends to coffee.  Do your best to extend the relationship to a face to face.

6.  Once you meet someone, give them your business card, and ask them to meet you for coffee.  Have your calendar ready to schedule the date.

7.  Go out during prime time hours…7-9 are prime time, and you will bump into all sorts of people who can get to know you.  Pick a favorite “locals” restaurant, and go there at least two times on a Friday night, and you will keep bumping into the active locals in your town.  Our locals spot is Vito’s.  When we go on a Friday night, we know about 75% of the people in the room…the more you show up repeatedly in one hot spot location, the more familiar you will become.

8.  Get to know your neighbors.  Go on walks, and strike up a conversation with other people who are out walking.  If you have a dog, walk your dog.  This is always a great conversation catalyst.

9.  Write a book or an e-book.  People will immediately want to know you if you are an author.  Anyone and everyone can write a book these days, and I am finding that some of the best books are self published.  If you have information that is valuable, and it is sitting in your brain, why not write a book?  It is a lot easier than you think.

10.  Take a series of continuing education classes in a field of interest.  If you take at least 4, you will bump into some of the same people, and they will get to know you and you will get to know them.

The “Don’t List (These things will probably keep you completely unknown!)

1.  Never leave your office or home.  Just go ahead and sit behind your computer or in front of a television in a dark room.  You can pretend that your online friends are your friends and that they know you, but they really don’t…some do, but most don’t.  They’re out there getting to know thousands of people while you sit in your dark room.

2.  When you go out to shop or dine, go late at night and sit alone in the corner.  This is the best time to “not bump into people” that MAY know you.

3.  Just don’t ever go to any functions…don’t go to any parties, events or community service functions.

4.  Don’t ever, ever get involved in your local community.

5.  Just skip the whole web presence thing…if you are someone who does not want to be known, just don’t open a blog, join Twitter or Facebook.  If you don’t want to be known, you will probably keep your blog, Facebook and Twitter pages private…so don’t bother.

6.  If you do have to go out, wear dark sunglasses and a huge hat like the stars do.  Of course, this attire will probably draw attention, so maybe small sunglasses and a baseball cap will draw less attention.

7.  When you go to events, just pretend you are someone else…take on a fake name and play the role of someone else.

8.  Wear very basic clothes…like jeans and a t-shirt everywhere you go.  If you dress up or wear anything wild or colorful…eeek…you might get noticed.

9.  Join a teleclass and just “lurk” in the background.  Do not unmute your phone.

10.  Just don’t make any friends.  You can’t be in a friendship if people can’t really get to know you.  Just stay at home at eat bon bons.

I know this “don’t” list sounds sarcastic, but it’s true.  I “know” people just like this, but I may be the only one who knows about them.  They stay isolated and then wonder why they aren’t getting hired, why their co-workers leave them out of functions and why their families don’t want them around…they are just too boring.

So, look at the above list and ask yourself…Do you fit into the “do” category or the “don’t” category.

Do You Have the Courage to Follow Your Talent to the Dark Place Where it Leads?

“Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads.” ~Erica Jong

Everyone has talent, yet the thing I notice more often than not is that most people don’t put the effort they need to put in so that they can grow, change and become successful. They skate by, thinking their college education from 1978 is enough to make it.

Well…that is no longer the case. We are in an era where knowledge is king, and the new technology and pieces of information which come our way are being pushed out there thousands of times each day. Whatever you knew yesterday is now outdated.

In working with leaders, before we begin a developmental plan, we look closely at 5 categories of skills to assess where the leader stands. Once that assessment takes place, we can design a leadership development plan that will capitalize on their assets and shore up their weaknesses or delegate out those weaknesses to othere. Today, as you are reading this post, ask yourself these questions to assess where you stand in these 5 categories:

1) What are your known strengths? These are your assets/strengths that you know allow you to do your best job. A strength is a skill you use that brings you to maximum levels of success.

2) What are your shortcomings? These are the weaknesses that you know you simply don’t do well?

3) What are your overused strengths? These are the strengths which may be overdone or overused to the point that they become annoying or off-putting to others. As an example, you were given the gift of a beautiful singing voice, and you sing constantly to the point that people tell you to put a sock in it! Or, you are overly confident to the point that you appear to be a jerk or a narcissist.

4) What are your hidden strengths? These are the strengths that you probably take for granted, or you don’t know they exist. Other people see them in you, but you are way too close to them to notice them.

5) What are your blind spots? These are areas which are off-putting or a weakness, and others see them, but you don’t see them. They are probably getting in the way of your performance. I recall a client I worked with a few years ago who hung her head down and shoulders slumped when she walked. Her employees thought she lacked confidence. On closer observation, I could tell this was her “thinking stance.” Whatever the reason, we had to work on it.

Today, consider your assets, shortcomings and your talents. Are you willing to look closely at them AND have others talk to you about them…this process can often take you into places which are dark and frightening, but you will learn a great deal about the next steps you need to take to become a more successful leader.

If you are interested in learning more about how executive coaching can help you uncover these 5 skill categories, please contact me a (910) 692-6118 for a complimentary coaching session. I am happy to help you discover a bit on this front..