Great video with some very simple questions that can help anyone inspire action. By Simon Sinek on Ted.com.
Stop Making New Year’s Resolutions! Start Making Your Big Dream Come Alive in 2012
December 28, 2011 by
I have been coaching business leaders since 1999, and one constant is this: Every person I have coached tells me about their big dream that they have either given up on OR they have put that dream on the back shelf.
I also hear my clients make “New Year’s Resolutions”, only to fail after a few short weeks. They stop trying to lose weight, drop their big dream or head back down an old worn out path.
While New Year’s Resolutions are great, my big question is always this “Why wait until the first day of the year? Why not start now”? and “What is the big dream you keep putting off? What is stopping you from making that dream become a reality?”
To help get at the core of why this happens, I polled 50 business leaders, and I asked them the following 3 questions:
- What is the big dream you have put on the shelf to achieve “later”?
- What is stopping you from going for that big dream?
- What steps are you committed to taking for the next year (that other people can learn from) in order to move in the direction of your big dream?
While not everyone responded, those who were willing to answer for public viewing are listed below. Many of these leaders admitted that they have a time, fear or money block around going for a big dream. What I know is this: If you can see a big dream, you can make it happen, and you don’t need to wait until January 1 to start making a dream come alive. But in the end…it really is all up to you and only you to make a big dream come alive. When you play big, you will experience other smaller successes as a bi-product. The business leaders below may just help provide you a bit of insight into why you may as well have a big dream that is not being fulfilled and a few strategies you may want to implement starting today to make your big dream become a reality.
I would love to hear your comments and about your own big dreams that you may have put on a back shelf and your plans for moving that dream along in 2012.
Thank you to all of you who took the time and had the courage to respond! Here’s to your dreams coming true in 2012!
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What is the big dream you have put on the shelf to achieve “later”?
I see myself getting back into Hollywood at some point, but through a different door.
What is stopping you from going for that big dream?
I’m having such a great damned time building our book writing business and growing out our team, that I’m comfortable with it being a future endeavor.
What steps are you committed to taking for the next year (that other people can learn from) in order to move in the direction of your big dream?
What we’re doing with creating intellectual property and working with amazing authors is having a natural impact in that direction. Growing out my own thought leadership platform is key and I’m doing that through a) launching my own book in 2012, b) launching my own website this month, c) blogging more, d) submitting more articles to major publications–ideal goal is one per month, e) growing my tribe on Twitter, f) releasing the Edge comic book in 2012, and g) completely overhauling our company’s online presence to better represent the spirit of our company and the transformation journey we take other thought leaders on.
Corey Michael Blake
www.coreymichaelblake.com
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What is the big dream you have put on the shelf to achieve “later”?
The big dream I have put on the “shelf” until later is to work in Washington, D.C., to lobby for a cause or an initiative that I believe in or a senator or president who is moving a cause that I believe in forward. I am a liberal, so at this point in my life, this is not the best thing for someone who asks an awful lot of conservative people for money.
What is stopping you from going for that big dream?
My family does not really want to live in DC and I don’t know how I would enjoy a year away from them working and living mostly in DC. We also do not have the financial ability to live separately, especially in such an expensive city.
What steps are you committed to taking for the next year (that other people can learn from) in order to move in the direction of your big dream?
What steps am I taking to move toward that dream? In February I am attending Habitat on the Hill, an advocacy conference that I have wanted to attend for many years but was unable to. There I will advocate for affordable housing, a passion of mine. This does not fulfill my dream to work on the “West Wing” or as a senator’s staff member but it does give me great satisfaction. I will also pursue opportunities for fellowships or funding to take a year to pursue this dream.
Elizabeth Cox
SandhillsHabitat.org
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What is the big dream you have put on the shelf to achieve “later”?
Well, in addition to learning a language… I’ve always had a dream of being able to “take the stage” and become more of a speaker on topics that I’m passionate about and help others learn. I really enjoy where the world of social technology is headed and enjoy the process of working with people and seeing their “light bulb” go off after I’ve explained how something works, or shown them a process that saves time or makes things easier. I’ve had the pleasure of doing this in the community banking and financial services sector for the past couple of years, but it would be fun to branch out and reach other groups and help others.
What is stopping you from going for that big dream?
While having a great deal of banking experience has helped me position myself well in this industry, not having the connections (or “reputation”) in other sectors prohibits me from standing out like I do in the banking sector. There’s not many 20-year banking professionals that also are as engrained in social and web technology that enjoy speaking in front of large groups. Plus, moving into other areas likely will require additional expertise in other markets, and at this time my client base (and circle of influence) remains the community banking sector.
What steps are you committed to taking for the next year (that other people can learn from) in order to move in the direction of your big dream?
First of all, one of the things that I did this year since I had so many speaking engagements was to get accepted into the National Speakers Association. As one of the primary organizations for speakers, the NSA provides me with resources on furthering my speaking efforts, plus tips and suggestions for expanding my opportunities. Additionally, this will help to further lend “credibility” to my speaking efforts, as being a NSA member holds some merit since there are some qualifications for membership that you have to demonstrate in the industry. I’m going to work on promoting this more pro-actively in the coming year and reach out to other groups to get more exposure. I’m also going to be taking a look at other opportunities (while still focusing on my banking area of expertise and taking care of my customers – of course) for projects and other ventures that will expand my horizons. Not only will these give me additional things to share in my speaking sessions, but getting “outside the box” will also help to add value to my customers with fresh and new ideas that may not be part of the “regular industry” thought process.
Eric Cook
PoweredByWSI
Eric Cook
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What is the big dream you have put on the shelf to achieve “later”?
To change the divorce landscape. I am a heart-centred entrepreneur and really do believe that families are forever. I haven’t really put this dream on the ‘shelf’ but I would say that I haven’t been able to fully put my energy towards it because of my own divorce and commitments to other initiatives. From my own experience, I understand some of the levels of pain that people go through in divorce so is better to leave the professional part of it to services like the Massachusetts Divorce Attorney so you at least you don’t have to worry about this. More importantly, I understand that when parents are in pain, their children will be too. It is my mission to change the world by helping children through divorce by helping their parents…everybody wins because when they get the coaching help they need, their mindset changes and I know that their children will be far better off too, . The world needs leaders, and those who have come through adversity tend to shine the brightest. I have no doubt that there are many future leaders that will benefit from my life coaching organization.
2. What is stopping you from going for that big dream?
- My financial environment. Having just broken free from the chrysalis of divorce myself, I am now preparing to take flight, I learned that Cheap Divorce in Oklahoma is best handled by the spouse who is willing to file the divorce papers. The process was an incredible journey of self-awareness and stepping into who I really am. It also completely wiped me out financially and I am literally starting from below sea level if you know what I mean 🙂
- My network environment. I am very new to coaching, less than one year, and want to connect with other like-minded experts in the family/ parenting/ divorce/ internet marketing/ entrepreneur niche. My experience is primarily in the “off line” business side, so my life coaching network is not that robust…yet, I am trying to get help with content marketing services so I gain experience.
- My memetic environment. I have not ‘been my best’ during my divorce. 98% of that junk is now gone because of the many professionals that have helped me over the last two years. I have always been a very positive minded person, now I understand this at a much deeper level and am no longer guilty about any of my success. I like to think that I am not afraid of dying, rather I’m afraid of not living.
It is my time to create greatness.
What steps are you committed to taking for the next year (that other people can learn from) in order to move in the direction of your big dream?
- To continue to lead by example as a divorced dad raising to beautiful children with their loving mother, co-parenting to absolute best of my ability.
- Continuing to build my website in many aspects such as affiliate programs, product launches, joint ventures, etc.
- To offer first class divorce/ life coaching.
- To grow and nurture a team of joint venture partners to help me help others. There is no way that I can, or want to, do this alone.
- To launch a paid membership component to my website in January 2012 that I feel will be an excellent resource for many families experiencing the divorce journey and provide another stream of revenue.
- To continue with my coaching training in the pursuit of mastery.
Coach Garnet Mierau
http://helpingchildrenthroughdivorce.com
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What is the big dream you have put on the shelf to achieve “later”?
For a number of years I said that I wanted to be a lady of leisure. It was never my intent to stay at home eating bon-bons (although that could be a plan) but rather I wanted to be able to spend my days doing what interested me.
What is stopping you from going for that big dream?
My own thoughts about why that would never work and the perception that, if not working, I’m not contributing.
What steps are you committed to taking for the next year (that other people can learn from) in order to move in the direction of your big dream?
I have made a monumental decision to close my business after 34 years of self employment. It’s taken me 6 years of thought and introspection to reach this decision and to feel good about it. My new goal is to be a mental health advocate and I’m doing that in partnership with, Bon Air Invisalign in the same ways that I earned a living; as a speaker, trainer and organizer. For increased comfort, Houston Sedation Dentistry specialize in administering various forms of dental sedation, such as nitrous oxide (laughing gas), and oral conscious sedation.
Alicia Smith
RecoveryAnimals.com
Alicia Smith Speaks
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What is the big dream you have put on the shelf to achieve “later”?
Honestly, I’ve been trying to decide what my “big dream” really is. Actually, I have several and they all seem big to me, but I’ll tell you about the big dream I’ve put on the shelf. I would like to publish two books. One is a personal one for my family and friends…a memoir. The other is one that would inspire senior women to make use of the many talents they possess, to leave a legacy of love with their own personal history.
What is stopping you from going for that big dream?
Too many other things going on in my life. I’m often on overwhelm and don’t feel I’ve accomplished very much.
What steps are you committed to taking for the next year (that other people can learn from) in order to move in the direction of your big dream?
My next step is to decide which I want to work on first then devote a half-hour to an hour each day. Working on it will include a clear outline, a table of contents and a decision on how I want it to be. In thinking about it, the first one will be for senior women. I believe that not having a system for how to do this, as well as the other bright, shiny objects that distract me, are what’s holding me back.
The steps I’m committed to for the next year is to (1) create a system for writing the first one, (2) practicing some time management, and (3) learning to say, “NO” to all the distractions that come my way.
I started an outline once before and realized I needed help to put the whole thing together. What I’m discovering is that I spend too much time on activities that are not beneficial to me in my realizing my dreams, although I help others reach their goals and dreams. 2012 will be my year to do what I promised myself I would do two years ago.
Dolores Hagen, CPCC
http://www.sixtyandsensational.com
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What is the big dream you have put on the shelf to achieve “later”?
What I want to make sure you do/accomplish this year, as a Big Dream?
- To make a difference in career direction for other Boomers, as relates to them having a full and joyful life
- Become recognized as a mentor/coach who has made a difference for people who are 50+ in age
- Leave as much as I can to certain valued charities from money I have made in my career coaching business in this life and after death
- To tie my career coaching business goals “somehow” to my lifelong interest in working with Asian peoples.
What is stopping you from going for that big dream?
The habits, activities and thoughts that are holding me back from this dream:
- Fear, worry, doubt about lack of abundance and abilities
- Thinking that I am “not good enough”
- Thinking that I have to be so “unique”
- Concern about competition
- That I won’t be able to make the level of profit & salary that I want
- That people will not see the value of what I have to offer
What steps are you committed to taking for the next year (that other people can learn from) in order to move in the direction of your big dream?
What are some steps that I am committed to take this year toward reaching my Big Dream:
- Learning to do my own SEO on my website and attached blog
- Blogging once a week
- Social Media posts daily
- E-newsletter monthly
- Podcasts/interviews/public radio – something once a month
- Traditional media (print or website of print media) every other month
- Related association/organization meeting 2 x per month
- In-person meeting 2 x per week minimum
Laura Schlafly, MBA, CCMC
http://www.CareerChoicesWithLaura.com
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What is the big dream you have put on the shelf to achieve “later”?
My big dream is to work with high net worth couples in regular, private, 3-day weekend retreats in my home, and to regularly work with small groups of high net worth couples in magnificent retreat venues around the world. This will allow me do the work I am here to do and spend a significant amount of time every year traveling and working out of the country and being in extraordinary settings with exceptional people who share my passion for making their love relationship the best they can be, which has been a dream of mine since 1999.
What is stopping you from going for that big dream?
What’s not stopping me? My (faulty) beliefs about who is and isn’t in my “list”; who isn’t available to me as a JV partner to introduce me to his/her list; the compelling offer I don’t have when I make a request to JV partners; and I’m sure several other things I believe I don’t have or limits I do have.
What steps are you committed to taking for the next year (that other people can learn from) in order to move in the direction of your big dream?
The first BIG step was to accept your invitation to openly say what my big dream is to you, and then through you to the world. And actually, before I could do that I had to get honest and pretty concrete with myself. So I would say that the first step I took was to let myself know, in very real terms, what my big dream is; then find the words to accurately articulate my big dream to myself and then to you. And then knowing that your plan is to “spread it around” my second step was to decide I was willing to have you do that. Then I had to go through a similar process to figure out and get really clear about what is holding me back; and then find the words and the courage to articulate that to myself and then to you! And you know, there are no accidents. I met someone through LinkedIn the day before I received your email who helps her client release the blocks to creating success. Normally, I would not have resonated to that kind of support, but today I began to see that focused effort to release blocks that have been stopping me from… or holding me back from… is the work that is next for me. So I hired her!
I am going to start with a draft of a very detailed Vision of both Retreat formats and a Wish List; and make a list of champions and contacts who are great sources of support and inspiration for me. Then I will decide on the top 10 geographical places I would like to go; research venues in those places; and finally, explore retreat possibilities in those venues. I think I will know more about what’s next as I get into the guts of my research and exploration. At some sooner than later point I will draft a basic Business Plan and loosely draft a broad-based marketing plan for this new venture.
I have been working with my couple clients over the last number of years in 1-day and 2-day retreat formats in my home. I already have a good idea of how I will deepen the 2-day format to 3-days. And I have been delivering four-day retreats in South Africa since 2008 so it is definitely time to get serious and make my dream of working with high net worth couples in regular, private, 3-day weekend retreats in my home, and to regularly work with small groups of high net worth couples in magnificent retreat venues around the world.
Dr. Jackie Black
www.DrJackieBlack.com
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What is the big dream you have put on the shelf to achieve “later”?
One of my business goals for this year was to get my MCC certification.
What is stopping you from going for that big dream?
I would like to say too much paying work which is true but it was something more….Not liking (hating) to the paper work: put together the log, sift through all the info, fill out the forms, find and do the appropriate coaching…..it was really all about the log, if I could just do that I would be fine.
What steps are you committed to taking for the next year (that other people can learn from) in order to move in the direction of your big dream?
When I thought about next year, it is really about writing down in my schedule four half days in January to get it done.
Vickie Bevenour
The RDW Group, Inc.
www.CoachVickie.com
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What is the big dream you have put on the shelf to achieve “later”?
To help women become successful entrepreneurs.. and not rely on any man or anybody to make that dream come true. I see many women who are highly successful business women and others who are dependent on their spouse. While that may work for many couples, I believe that Woman need to be as financially independent as possible. In my opinion, I believe that this will empower women and embolden them to make choices on their own and to have the confidence to be ones true self to pursue dreams and goals. I also believe that men, while they may not admit it will also have more respect for their spouse or significant other. I am very connected and passionate about this dream one day. There are so many opportunities for woman and I want to help make their dreams come true.
What is stopping you from going for that big dream?
Right now I am very focused on building my social media and internet marketing business. As soon as I build it to a point that doesn’t require so much time and commitment, I will jump at the opportunity to help every woman who wants my help.
What steps are you committed to taking for the next year (that other people can learn from) in order to move in the direction of your big dream?
I am working as hard and smart as possible to build my business. My goals are to make more time to market my own business and treat it with the same care, attention, and intensity as I work with my clients. I need to do more sales and marketing for my business, networking, speaking engagements, blog more, and do m ore videos—essentially get myself out there m ore! I would also like to joint venture with other businesses. I have so many ideas and projects that I’d like to execute for 2012. I believe consistency and perseverance are the keys to success—and if I take these steps, this will inevitably bring me closer to my additional dreams.
Laura DeMeo
http://www.laurademeo.com
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What is the big dream you have put on the shelf to achieve “later”?
I haven’t put my dream on the shelf as much as I’ve been working on making it smaller and more tangible – the dream is to contribute to my country by teaching others how to be in relationship in every aspect of their lives. I have a 25 yr plan to improve America and get us back on top as global leaders and manufacturers of goods and services.
What’s stopping you from going for that big dream?
- My ideas are too big, need to break them down into 3 specific areas of need
- I need to pick a specific niche market to serve
- I need to pick one of the three and commit my focus to that one area and not get distracted with other areas of need until I have established myself in that one specific area as an expert.
- Recognize I have all the training and skills I need right now, I am already an expert in my field and must demonstrate the confidence and self assurance that my years of experience and education warrant.
What steps are you committed to taking for the next year (that other people can learn from) in order to move in the direction of your big dream?
- I will get a coach – because having a coach creates accountability, structure, and guidance for achieving any dream in half the time it would take on my own
- I will breakdown my dream into 3 tangible areas of interest and pick one area to focus on and package my services to while picking a specific niche market to address a need for that service.
- I will decide how much money I choose to make in 201
- I will set 12 major tasks needed to achieve my professional goals one per month and then break them down into monthly, weekly, and daily tasks to make my dream a reality
- I will visit these goals 2 times a day. In the morning when I wake and look at my schedule and in the evening before I end my day and prepare tomorrow’s tasks and make changes as needed to stay on track for the overall yearly vision and goals.
- I will create a mastermind group of likeminded people who are attempting to send the same message to support the growth of America in various way
- I will surround myself with people that support my vision and are also moving their life forward in positive ways and cut ties with any people in my life that might hinder my personal and professional development through being discouraging or inactive in their own personal development. There is great power in the company you keep.
- And most importantly I will monitor and control my thoughts. For my thoughts become words, words become actions, actions become habits, habits define your character, and your character creates your destiny.
Janine Elias
www.JanineElias.com
www.EliasRelationshipAcademy.com
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What is the big dream you have put on the shelf to achieve “later”?
I have a dream of building a leadership academy that would supplement our education system. Leadership skills are not really being taught in our education system, and I feel that an academy that teaches leadership and business skills would greatly enhance the future for our next generation of leaders.
What is stopping you from going for that big dream?
I have an “I don’t have enough time” warped belief system.
What steps are you committed to taking for the next year (that other people can learn from) in order to move in the direction of your big dream?
To actually sit down and write out a strategic plan for how this school will unfold. It is stuck in my vision, so I know it is going to happen. Putting pen to paper always helps!
Bea Fields
Bea Fields Companies Inc.
The Top 3 Reasons Motivation Does Not Work
April 21, 2011 by
In the world of coaching, we talk a great deal about “motivation“. I have even had colleagues introduce me as a “motivational speaker”. This grinds on my last nerve, and here’s why.
Motivation does not work!
Take a look at this dog to the right. There are several things that could be “motivating” the dog to not snatch the hot dog and lap it up:
- Great job using Photoshop
- The dog has been very well trained
- The photographer tried 10 times and made sure he snapped the photograph in two seconds
- The dog is not a dog
- And a few other reasons
My point is this: Dogs will be dogs, and dogs LOVE to eat meat in any shape or form. So, my hunch is that if left alone, this dog would scarf down that hot dog in ten seconds flat.
There are 3 basic reasons that I believe motivation does not work, and here they go:
1. Motivation is a “pushing” mechanism. Have you ever attended a motivational seminar or worked with a health coach who was “pushing” you to achieve a goal against the greatest of your will and might? It feels yucky. Now then, they may spin their words and sprinkle their magic pixie dust to get you to “change your life forever”, but the old motivational seminar or “in your face” health coach is like a shot of a cortisone. The inflammation goes away temporarily out of being in a trance or scared to death, but the true injury did not really heal. The cortisone was just a short term fix. Motivation is just like that shot of cortisone…it is a short term fix, and if you are feeling “pushed” to do something that you really don’t want to do, your success will be very short term, but instead if you really want to keep yourself healthy, you’ll do it for yourself, you’ll feel like exercising and getting supplements as kratom extract to feel the best you can.
On the other hand, anabolic steroids does work…something in life that you are really attracted to and drawn to, and it has nothing to do with a health coach screaming in your face or a motivational speaker using his NLP to put you into a trance.
2. The “motivation” is not tied to changing the environment. We all have the ability to pull will power up, but if our environment is not redesigned in a way to help us reach our goal, we will do what anyone does who is trying to break a habit…we slip or relapse. If you are trying to lose weight, and your pantry is stocked with Famous Amos cookies, Reese Cups, Lays Potato Chips (you can’t eat just 1) and all of your favorite “fatty foods”, there is a very good chance on a bad, tired, stressed day that you will go to the pantry and go on an eating frenzy. The same holds true with the people in your environment…if they are not joining you in this goal and if they are eating your favorite foods, the mimic in you will follow them right to the pantry. To truly succeed with a goal, you really do have to change everything around you if you want to succeed.
3. Motivation is a form of pretending that you want to do something. If you are pretending you want to do something, just stop! On the other hand, if you have a goal that truly inspires you and stirs passion inside your soul, there is a great chance you will succeed with your goal. If you have been shamed or sent on a guilt trip to “get some motivation”, in about two weeks, you will find yourself right back in that trap. Standing in front of the mirror and pumping yourself up gets old, but when you are working on something so exciting that you dance out of the bed and out the door every morning, you are going to succeed…because you WANT to and you LOVE what you are doing.
So, I would love to hear some comments on this post. Just drop them below, and let me hear what you think.