December 13, 2017

How to Get People to Know, Like and Trust You: Part 2: Do People Like You or Despise You?

Guess what?  It is not hard at all to get people to like you.  However, more often than not, many people exhibit behaviors which make others want to run from them when they see them.

I am going to present again a “do” and “don’t” list.  The “don’t list may sound ridiculous, but I have observed every single one of these behaviors in people…behaviors which made me not want to spend time with these people.  So, look at the list and see where you fit in.

The “Do List” (these behaviors will make people LOVE you!)

  1. Be curious about the other person.
  2. Write thank-you notes (this is becoming a lost art, and we need to bring this back!)
  3. Acknowledge people for their successes, and make it public.
  4. Listen closely.
  5. Smile and be open and warm.
  6. Ask people “How can I help you?” and then…go help them.
  7. Be interesting (without talking a great deal). When you have something to say, make it as interesting as possible.
  8. Remember people’s names (This is a weakness of mine, and my husband is helping me on this, but I do have to work on this one).
  9. Admit it when you are wrong.
  10. Walk your talk.
  11. Be gracious and grateful with the people in your life.
  12. Tell people how much you appreciate them (only if you are serious about this!)
  13. Have a sense of humor.  The best humor is one that is a bit self-depricating.

The “don’t list (This list may sound silly, but I have seen each of these in my lifetime.  You may think these are insignificant, but if you are someone who presents these behaviors, you are almost guaranteed to run people off!)

  1. Always have an ax to grind.
  2. Live with a huge chip (boulder size) on your shoulder.
  3. Talk about your problems ALL the time to anyone and everyone.
  4. Go to a friend’s house for a visit. Mess up their bathroom, bedroom and kitchen and don’t offer to clean up.
  5. When you visit friends, take your pets without asking.  Oh boy…that’s a great way to win friends.
  6. Don’t speak to people as you pass by them.  Ignore them as if they are invisible.
  7. Walk around with a permanent scowl on your face.
  8. Act like you know EVERYTHING about EVERY SUBJECT and make sure people know they are WRONG, WRONG, WRONG when they throw in an opinion!
  9. Constantly give unwanted advice to people (oh yeah…that one goes over really well).
  10. Talk non-stop…don’t let anyone get a word into the conversation.
  11. Interrupt people.
  12. When people are trying to give you hints that they don’t want to talk any longer, just keep talking.
  13. When people are physically walking away from you as a message they are finished with the conversation, keep following them around.
  14. Practice poor hygiene…don’t wash your hair, bathe, brush your teeth or use deodorant for at least 4-5 days
  15. Smoke in people’s homes without asking if it’s okay to do so.
  16. Brag about yourself constantly.
  17. Drop names of famous people you know to impress others.
  18. Spend at least 50% of the day gossiping about others.
  19. Spread rumors that are simply not true as a way to occupy your time.
  20. Be late for every occasion.
  21. Send a nasty email to a co-worker and copy 10 other people in on the email.
  22. Chew with your mouth open and talk while you have food in your mouth…watch it drop onto the table.
  23. Just “show up” at someone’s house uninvited for a week-end stay (this will irritate even your best friends and family members…people want to know if you are coming).
  24. Keep your house as messy and cluttered as possible, and don’t clean up when guests are visiting.
  25. Fill your car up with trash. Leave just enough room for a driver to drive your car.
  26. Roll your eyes during every conversation at least five times.
  27. When you are talking with someone, don’t make eye contact…scan the room to see if there is someone “better” to talk to…then, just walk away from the conversation so that you can rub elbows with the “more important” person.
  28. Go to a networking event and hang out at the food table. Let people know you are just there for the free food.
  29. Whine and complain A LOT!
  30. Always be the loudest, most obnoxious person in the room.
  31. Have a yelling fight with your spouse or family member in public.
  32. Make fun of other people and be sarcastic about them as a way of showing how funny you are.

If you are living with any of these negative behaviors, it is never too late to change.  Look at this entire list and just be honest with yourself about what you need to change..

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